I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I understand Curling. That high.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
