I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
