on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
