i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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