I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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