ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
