I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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