Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
