If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
