Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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