your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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