I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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