the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just gift wrapped bread.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
