Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
