So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.