White coat. Heels.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over