she was so not down for the gang bang
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
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Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.