"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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