How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
