Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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