I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
