i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize