drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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