but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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