Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
