But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
