remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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