A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i've created a new STD.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize