It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
