I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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