): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
