After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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