I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
