porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you made out with another girl for some wings
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
