Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
