Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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