Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
