honey bunches of taint.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
