He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
