just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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