You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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