On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
