Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
