This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
