First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
