For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
