youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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