he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
