I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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