the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
