Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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