no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
