Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
