my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
