As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
