Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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