Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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