i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
