i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
